A Bag of Hurts

Spiritual Story by Zura Ledbetter

There was a sweet, wonder-filled little girl who was hurt over and over so badly that she entered adult life assuming that she was so bad that others just couldn't be nice to her.

What she didn't know until much later, was that God had given her an extra dose of curiosity. This curiosity is what kept her going, seeking answers. She sought many wise people to help her understand why she was so bad that her mother hurt her. And why she was unable to be better so that men wouldn't hurt her.

She was on a journey that she thought was to help her be "better", but she dragged a big sack with her everywhere she went. Inside this sack were all the hurts she had experienced. Because she was so eager to please those who offered their wisdom, she willingly agreed with what they said about forgiving and compassion toward those who caused the hurts. But she clung tightly to that sack of hurts.

But over time, she started loosening her grip on that sack. Her curiosity prompting her to explore... what if she let just one of them go? What if she looked at the men as victims, too? What if she looked at her mother as woman instead of a villain?

After 50 years of dragging that sack around and boldly showing it to all she met as if it were proof that she was a good person, she decided to open it up and just see what happened.

When she looked inside it was filled with bits of paper. At one time they had words on them, detailing the hurts. But time had faded the words and all that was left was some tattered and torn scraps of useless paper. She had been struggling to carry this bag that held nothing but the image of something that once was.

This sweet little girl had now become an almost-old woman. She saw the absurdity of lugging that bag around. It made her laugh. She started laughing and the laughter led to dancing and she felt free!

She was able to see her mother as a young woman with long beautiful hair. Her mother was a woman, a mother who loved her child, and she was sad that her little girl felt unloved.

By letting go of the sack of paper, and having compassion for those that hurt her, this little girl was able to become a woman. The woman looked in the mirror and said, "I am smart. I am interesting. I am kind. I am talented."

But most importantly, she was able to say "I am lovable." Although it took many years, she was finally open to bringing love and respect into her life in the people she surrounded herself with.

She finally saw the sweet, wonder-filled little girl that she had always been.