I Chose life

I Chose life
By Christopher Larkin, USA


I grew up on a farm on the outskirts of London. As a kid, I took every opportunity to disobey my parents. They sent me to boarding school a few miles away in High Wycombe. By age 12, I had been kicked out of that boarding school, and then another.

I spent the next couple of years out of school, lost in a whirlwind of drugs, crime and self-harm. I stole money from my parents to buy drugs and sometimes fought so violently with them that they had to call the police.

It was then that I encountered Nichiren Buddhism for the first time. A friend told me that if I chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, I could change my life. I chanted for a few minutes, but that was it.

When I turned 15, my parents kicked me out of the house for good. I spent several months living in a tent under a bridge, selling drugs for food. The cycle of drug use, homelessness and crime continued, and I spent eight months in a juvenile prison.

Just before my 17th birthday, I had a psychotic breakdown from drug use and was placed in a psychiatric hospital for three months. The same friend visited me and encouraged me to chant, giving me a sutra book and prayer beads. We chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo together, and read The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin and SGI President Daisaku Ikeda's guidance.

Within a month, I was released. I had a choice: I could either return to a life of drugs and crime—a path of death—or I could do something with my life. This time, I chose life. I returned to High Wycombe, where I built a strong Buddhist practice and attended as many SGI activities as I could. The warmth and compassion I felt from the local SGI-UK members were incredible. For the first time in my life, I had hope.

In summer 2006, I met someone from the UK who was studying at Soka University of America (SUA). When she told me that SUA was founded on the principles of peace and the sanctity of life, I dreamed of studying there. I began to take remedial classes in math and English for exams that would allow me to enter a community college without a high school diploma. I also studied the writings of Mr. Ikeda and did my best to apply them to my life. Soon, I reconnected with my parents and began healing the damage I had done.

In September 2008, I enrolled at Aylesbury College, a vocational school in the UK with courses designed to help older students enter four-year universities after long periods without formal education. Through my activities as a student governor at Aylesbury, I was selected as one of 20 students in the UK to participate in the National Learner Panel, a government initiative to include student voices in shaping educational policy.

As a vice chairperson, I worked with many people in government, including the Minister for Education, to whom I gave a copy of Mr. Ikeda's book Soka Education. During this time, I applied to SUA and several universities in England. Despite my piecemeal education, I gained acceptance from four of England's top universities.

On March 12, 2009, SUA accepted me as a member of the class of 2013. I was ecstatic, but first I had to get a US visa. I spent three months collecting references from employers, teachers and even the Minister for Education. On June 19, my interview at the US embassy was short and cold. My visa was denied.

I walked out of the embassy and got halfway down the street before I broke down in tears outside a cafe. I went straight to the SGI-UK members who had been supporting me and they encouraged me not to give up, and we sat down to chant together.

While chanting for a solution, I read and reread these words of Nichiren Daishonin: "You must be firmly resolved . . . do not depend on others. You must simply make up your mind. Look at the world this year as a mirror . . . This will determine whether you win honor or disgrace your name. This is what is meant when it is said that it is difficult to be born as a human being, and that it is difficult to believe in the Lotus Sutra." (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, vol. 1, p. 829).

I realized that I needed more resolve. I chanted to be able to wholeheartedly determine to contribute to a more peaceful world by studying at the university founded by my mentor. Through my prayer and actions, I found an immigration lawyer willing to help me. The day after meeting with her to discuss my case, I was given a second interview at the embassy on August 3—the day I was supposed to arrive at SUA.

The interviewer asked me about SUA and how I had changed my life since 2004, when I last committed a crime. After I told her my story, she smiled. "Good luck at Soka University," she said. "You can have your visa today." I began my studies on August 27. The American poet Walt Whitman wrote, "My real self has yet to come forth." With this spirit, I will pursue my studies at SUA so that I can indeed contribute to peace.

[Adapted from an article in the March 5, 2010 issue of the World Tribune, SGI-USA; photo courtesy of Mitsu Kimura]